It’s been a rough couple of years for sure, and though the last few months haven’t been flawless in the health department either, at least I’ve (finally) been on the right track.  Elimination diets are fucking rough.. I knew that going in, and it’s been exactly what I’d read.  Long, confusing and you feel like shit for the majority of the time.


A combination of the fodmap lists (ideally the more up to date ones, snarl) and some trial and error has seemingly yielded the first stable diet I’ve had since starting the elimination stuff.  I feel great, and have for over a week now.  Considering I’ve not eaten ANYTHING outside what I’d planned and I’m still feeling great, I’m confident things have settled down (hopefully not tempting fate there!).  I still need to see a Doc/Nutritionist, as there’s no way in hell my absurdly limited diet is a good idea in the long run.. but fuck that for the moment, and fuck trying anything new for a while as well.

A while back I got rid of tomato ketchup.. any one that knows me IRL will know my food gets coated in two things, ketchup and salt.  I consider it tribute, a symbolic gesture of blood and bone to the gods of chaos.. it also tastes so much fucking better.  It was however, doing a serious number on me.  Some folk with ShitGut(tm) can tolerate tomatoes fine, some can only have a little, and others can’t have any.. seems I’m in that last group.

Getting rid of ketchup had a fairly fast effect (I’ve reduced the salt as well.. people have always gone at me for it, and they’re right), but I knew I could still feel even better, so I examined what was in my diet carefully, and couldn’t see anything that hadn’t been tested to be fine.  Oh, except coffee but that doesn’t count right?  It does?  Nah?  Really?  Fuck off :[

Folk know me and coffee.. we go back.  We’ve known each other since we were kids and we even went to the same college.

As you can see/already know, my love for coffee knows no boundaries to the point of madness.  It’s more appealing to me than even smoking was, and I could never get the hang of any self control in regards to it.  I’d imbibe (FANCY) strong coffees like it was going outta fashion, all day, every day.  I’m sure my throat and gut has a caffeinated coating at this point…

Of all the things I can’t have now, I don’t care about most of them and needed to eat better anyway.. ketchup hurt a bit, but I’m already (surprisingly) used to it.  Coffee however, is genuinely gutting.  I’d already stopped some years back, but inevitably started again, especially once a fodmap list gave me the green light for espresso coffee.

The daft thing is, I know caffeine in any form is an IBS trigger and not great if you’ve got ShitGut(tm).. I just chose to ignore that, and despite my love for coffee, I can’t say I’m proud.  Don’t get me wrong, coffee wasn’t the cause of all this, and it’s not even at the top of things that make me feel shite (one a day didn’t even make me feel bad).. but it wasn’t helping, and I need all the help I can get when it comes to ShitGut(tm) atm.  Plus the number of times I’d say “Just one coffee today!” and end up having loads was ridiculous and made me feel like an idiot 😉  It needed to be gone entirely.

So.. how did I summon the strength and sheer tenacity to battle this dark stomach scourge and stop drinking coffee?  Maybe it was the idea of feeling slightly better, or the knowledge that I should have stopped long ago?

I ran out of it a few days ago…

I honestly think that was the only way it was ever gonna happen.. run outta the shit, then don’t buy any more.  That may sound stupid, and it fucking is, but as I said above, I honestly don’t think I’ve any self control in regard to it.  It’s an all or nothing kinda thing.  I do realise that all this pales in comparison to what some folk have to stop eating/drinking, or their health conditions in general.

So with the last two greater demons felled, I’m left with some actually pretty nice food, albeit limited in variety, and no doubt underwhelming in nutrients.  Clearly there’s still some work to be done, but now that it’s all stabilized, I can get back to functioning day to day properly.  It’s given me a base to manoeuvre (never realised it was spelt like that) from, making any work on it in the future vastly easier.

I’ll revisit adding new things in at a later point, but for now, I’m seriously fucking stoked, and I know for a fact it’ll be clearly evident over the coming months, on here, YouTube and Twitch :]